Never Mind The Boris, Here's More Counting Down

After the songs listed as 50 - 40 in my Top 50 Favourite Songs of the Year were announced in the previous post and immediately saw sales of said songs rocket (Chris Moyles got so excited that he played Shackleton's Moon Over Joseph's Burial seven times back-to-back during his show on Friday), I felt that I'd try and press on with the rest of the list as quickly as possible, if only to snap Moylesy out of his atmospheric dub trance.

So here are 10 more aural masturbation aids for you to erotically rub against your eardrums, just remember to give them a wipe after you've had your way with them:

39. Sub Focus - Rock It

38. Mount Kimbie - Sketch On Glass

37. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Zero (Erol Alkan Remix)

36. Dusty Kid - Here Comes The Techno

35. Slagsmalsklubben - Brutal Weapons

34. Mount Kimbie - 50 Mile View

33. Bullion - Young Heartache

32. Lazy Jay - Float My Boat

31. The Ian Carey Project - Get Shaky

30. Joy Orbison - Hyph Mngo

Seeing as this is just a titchy little post so far, I'll take this opportunity to encourage you to leave your thoughts - whether they be good, bad, or just plain ugly - on my choices of songs for the Top 50 Favourite Songs of the Year (or anything else in this blog for that matter), by using the comments section below. I think it's quite easy to do, and I don't believe you have to sign up for a Blogger account either. So, why not give it a go eh kids?! I think there's the option of posting anonymously, so you can spare yourself some blushes by not having to reveal that you're a reader of this blog, which I'm fully aware has been the cause of many marital splits and coup d'etats in the past.

Classic Track

The second in this new and already widely revered 'Classic Track' section takes us hurtling back to the mid-90's, and to one of hip-hop's all-time classic chilled out anthems. A gentle piano melody loops in the background while New York's finest lay down some tough truths about the dependence on and continual struggle for money in the city - Cash Rules Everything Around Me, it's:

Wu-Tang Clan - C.R.E.A.M.

Songs I'm Currently Loving

• Boris Dlugosch - Bangkok (Dub) - I'm thoroughly atheist when it comes to believing the hype about Boris Dlugosch's Bangkok (original version here). I've read people waxing lyrical about it, anointing it as THE track of 2009. My ears picked it up twice during the course of Annie Mac Presents at the Warehouse Project, and I can imagine pretty much every electro club the length and breadth of Britain/the World is rinsing a bit of Boris pretty heavily these days. Well, I THINK IT'S A BIT BORING. It's certainly a pretty catchy tune, but I just feel it lacks that extra bit of punch - when the hook drops, it drops a bit flat and limp, and the whole song sounds like it's the wind-down to itself, as if the real dance floor-smashing element of the track has actually occurred before the track's begun and now we're just left with the shadowy outro. It's basically a less emphatic version of Pon de Floor, from which it seems to steal both a similar sounding hook, and at one point an almost identical drum pattern. And I know it's primarily intended for dancing to in a club, but if you listen to the full original mix just through home speakers or headphones it gets bloody tedious after not too long at all. I'm still waiting to find a remix of it that really adds some oomph to the track, but for the time being this 'ere dub version from the EP is actually a superior cut to the original if you ask me.
• Four Tet - Love Cry (Joy Orbison Remix) - Four Tet's latest track Love Cry makes it's second appearance on the trot on The Hardcore and The Gentle, this time having been rubbed down with a hot towel by Joy Orbison, a producer who's really at the top of his game at the moment. This remix focuses attention on the lush vocals from the track, and makes for equally (if not more) pleasurable listening than FT's original.
• Ellie Goulding - Under The Sheets (Jakwob Remix) - a track in a similar mould to the likes of Emalkay's When I Look At You (but less overplayed) or the Joker remix of SMD's Cruel Intentions (but without the irritating lead-singer of The Gossip on vocal duties), Jakwob has here sliced up Ellie Goulding's vocals for his second top notch remix of one of her tracks, and given them some whomping bass for company.

That concludes this particular post, the next tracks in the Year's Best Songs countdown will appear soon enough, as will the list of my Top 10 Favourite Albums of 2009. Oooh I do spoil you something rotten, don't I?

B

Y

E

(remember, don't be afraid to leave a comment!)

County Down, part 1

When I was a child, I went on a family holiday to Switzerland. While we were there we took a wee day trip to the Large Hadron Collider, to see if we could spot the Higgs boson for ourselves. However, DISASTER STRUCK. I, convinced that I'd just spotted the Higgs boson bombing past, rushed to the edge of the machine to take a closer look, but in my excited haste I failed to notice a crate of low-fat Dairylea Dunkers that had been set down just beside the collider -I tripped, and was sent tumbling in to the collider.

I cannot recall much of what occurred once I was inside. All I'm aware of is that what I had perceived to be the Higgs boson was in fact Higgs' bassoon, which Higgs was carrying on his way to wind band practice just further down the collider. From then on, my memories are nothing more than blurry, incomplete shapes and whirls, until I suddenly snapped back in to full consciousness to see my family and Dr Fox anxiously peering down at me. Heaven knows how long I was in there until I was fished out, but I appeared to have emerged unscathed.

Or, at least, it appeared that way at first. After I'd been comforted and given a steaming hot mug of cocoa and a low-fat Dairylea Dunker, Dr Fox took me to one side, out of ear shot of the rest of the group. He explained to me that his experiments with the LHC were not quite what the public were being led to believe. Instead of trying to recreate the Big Bang, he whimpered, he had in fact been using the machine to try and recreate Big Brovaz, who at the time had been the height of musical innovation until their tragic volcano-based demise. He explained that if he could just unleash another R&B/hip-hop collective on the world with the talent and vision of Big Bro, then he might finally be able to convince Simon Cowell to revive Pop Idol and give him a slot as a judge again. The good doctor explained that he wasn't sure what, if any, side effects I would feel from my brush with the collider, but that he would personally ensure that I was looked after properly for the rest of my life, and given all the funding and resources I needed to ensure that this experience wouldn't hinder me, and I would be able to build a successful career in the future.

Of course, just like all the others who had received the same pledge from Dr Fox or any other talent show judge, my prospects were soon to implode. I was haunted by my ordeal in the collider: I couldn't sleep properly, I got jittery whenever I heard the sound of a bassoon, and I massively went off low-fat Dairylea Dunkers. Like, MASSIVELY. But the most significant effect of my experience was the most mind-blowing of all: I could now see in to the musical future. I knew as early as 2002 that Take That would reform and that Robbie Williams would fall from stardom, only to return years later with a comeback that everyone heralded as magnificent but in truth wasn't particularly impressive. I had a vision in 1997 that over-the-top europop synths would make passionate love with the scrag-end of the hip-hop world and their offspring would rule the planet, and lo and behold in 2009 the love-children of the affair, Taio Cruz and Tinchy Stryder, stormed the charts. At this very moment, I know that the winner of this year's X Factor (who I can't reveal on here due to legal restrictions) will go on to land the Christmas number one, do fuck all for the next 7-8 months then return to prominence briefly with a series of heavily American-influenced hits interspersed with weak cover versions.

Why am I telling you this? you might ask, probably about 70 lines ago. Well, I've used my superpower of being able to gaze in to the future of music and have decided that there won't be a sufficient amount of stingin' toons released between now and the end of the year to stop me from entering the initial stages of an End Of Year countdown. The top ten has actually already been drafted but will be left for a later date, partly due to the recent emergence of a tune that is making a strong argument to be catapulted to the top end of the list (said tune is to be found in Song's I'm Currently Loving).

So for now, let me present to you the songs that I have listed as 50 - 40 on the list of My Favourite Songs of the Year, and the rest will be portioned out in the coming days and weeks. There's a mixed bag there, so if you pick one out you don't like then just try and swap it with someone else, and for heaven's sake don't just put it back in the mix once your grubby fingers have been all over it. Learn some manners, you filthpot.

- - - I'm providing YouTube links for these as far as is possible, if you wish to own the track then either buy it as I can guarantee that it's propah good, use some form of YouTube song downloading tool, or it could already be on this blog so check tha side list of artists yeah? - - -

50. Jesse Rose - Well Now

49. Lady GaGa - Poker Face

48. Sticky K - Bandari Funk

47. Shitao - We

46. Shackleton - Moon Over Joseph's Burial

45. Zombie Nation - Worth It pt.1

44. Burial & Four Tet - Moth

43. Martyn - Elden St.

42. Luke Vibert - We Hear You

41. Rye Rye feat. M.I.A. - Bang

40. Joy Orbison - Wet Look

So there we go, I hope that's wet your appetite for the even more heavyweight tunes yet to come. Before we get to the customary Songs I'm Currently Loving, in my infinite wisdom I've decided to add even more length to this already lengthy-enough post through the introduction of a new little segment. From now on, the downloading section of each post will also include a 'Classic Track'; that's to say, an absolute gem of musical brilliance that you should own by law, so if you don't already have it then download it fast and avoid a 7 year jail term.

The début Classic Track is a stunning combination of one of the finest voices ever committed to record, enigmatic and beautifully romantic lyrics, and set against a driving yet hypnotically soothing techno backdrop. So please, stop what you're doing, lay yourself down somewhere, and immerse yourself in:

Bjork - Hyperballad

Songs I'm Currently Loving:

• Gemmy - BT Tower - Gemmy combines the best bits of both the past and future of dubstep, with a throbbing filth-fest of a bassline fused with the more atmospheric side of the genre that's becoming increasingly healthier
• DatsiK - Southpaw - more dutty thumps and squelches c/o Datsik, here sampling Wu Tang Clan to create a propah nawty banger of a tune
• Tricky - Slow - I recently discovered the 'Tricky Meets South Rakkas Crew' album and am currently enjoying it greatly, hunt it down if you haven't heard it already.
• Shinichi Osawa - Maximum Joy (Van She Remix) - Another bad-ass album that's recently wandered in to my life is Southern Fried & Tested vol. 2, a compilation released by Norman Cook aka Fatboy Slim's Southern Fried Records. Got some real treats on there, including the next song as well.
• Touché - Vampires - even if you don't think you've heard anything by DJ Touché (one half of The Black Ghosts) before, you have. Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iODdvJGpfIA&feature=related
• Pom Pom - Untitled - I am currently in love with Pom Pom, and this is currently my particular favourite of his hoards of untitled tracks.
• Slagsmalsklubben - Brutal Weapons - one of the few saving graces on the new Kitsuné Maison compilation. Band name is Swedish for 'Fight Club', FYI.
• Four Tet - Love Cry - a lovely bit of new Four Tet, which is a precursor to a new album which should be out early 2010 me believes.
• Ill Mana feat. P-Money - What Did He Say (Remix) - currently my favourite example of the newly crowned 'Greatest Genre In The World' - Bassline (of course)
• Deadboy - U Cheated - This is the song which has thrown my previously nicely settled 'Top 10 Favourite Songs of the Year' in to disarray, as it only got released a few days ago but is already infecting my brain at every given opportunity. Definitely one of the biggest tunes of the year, I only wish it could have revealed itself sooner and saved me the hassle of having to shoe-horn it in on the upper platforms of my End Of Year list.

Bye.

In a cupboard with The Field

Occasionally the rest of the world wide web gets jealous of the brilliance emanating from The Hardcore and The Gentle and starts to throw a bit of a wobbly. So, for the sake of keeping the internet balanced in a state of satisfied contentment and maintaining international cyber-security, every now and then I contribute my wise words to other outlets, particularly the fine electronic music site Sound Revolt, which you should all bookmark straight away.

To read an interview I conducted the other week with The Hardcore and The Gentle's permanent object of affection, The Field, which has now been posted on Sound Revolt, all you gotta do is:

CLICK HERE

Harry along now youngster

This is just a quick wee post because a) I haven't written anything in a little while, but mainly b) I read something muchos lol-ita the other day and feel obliged to spread the chuckles to those that haven't already chuckled at it already.

The Fiery Furnaces are an American band that primarily consist of siblings Eleanor and Matthew Friedberger, and who - now somewhat regrettably - I rather like. My regret is induced by Matthew Friedberger rather bizarrely mouthing off about Radiohead's touching and respectful tribute to Harry Patch, who had been Britain's last remaining World War 1 veteran until he passed away in July earlier this year. Thom Yorke, moved by a 2005 interview with Patch on Radio 4, recorded the song 'Harry Patch (In Memory Of)' and it's available to download on Radiohead's website, with all proceeds going to the The Royal British Legion.

Sounds like a thoroughly worthy cause, non? PAH, WORTHY AS FUCK! Let Matthew Friedberger cut through all the crap and tell it like it really is:

"'Oh, please listen to our new song about Harry Patch'. Fuck you! You brand yourself by brazenly and arbitrarily associating yourself with things that you know people consider cool. That is bogus. That's a put-on. That's a branding technique, and Radiohead have their brand that they're popular and intelligent, so they have a song about Harry Patch."

Yeah! Fuck you Radiohead, you DICKS. Thom Yorke's clearly spotted the fact that all the kids on the street were rocking Harry Patch ringtones and baseball caps, and Tweeting about how cool it would be to be the oldest man in the UK, and third oldest man in Europe, and he's only gone and exploited Harry Patch's status as a hipster's wet dream to release a bloody TRIBUTE SONG. And what's that? What's he done with all the profits? Only gone and DONATED THEM ALL TO THE BRITISH BLOODY LEGION! I know! What a blood-sucking opportunist!

But, err - hang on. Although Harry Patch will now forever be far, far cooler than Matthew Friedburgerandchips, I wouldn't have thought that anyone could be accused of bandwagoning or deploying self-promotive branding techniques by paying homage to a man who may easily be considered a hero, but less easily a figure of cool. So, Matthew Friedburgeranddietcola, what the bloomin' heck are you on about? Me thinks a follow-up but possibly even more confusing statement is needed!

"Like most creative musicians, Matt Friedberger is not a fan of Radiohead and most of their chart busters. Of course, Matt and all the Fiery Furnaces family are great fans of all Tommys living or dead, so much so that lots of the Fiery Furnaces' work is, because of the pun, dedicated to imitating the Who's Tommy.

"Back in the fall of 1996 or whenever that interview was conducted, the interviewer asked what Matt thought of the Radiohead song celebrating a WWI veteran. Matt naturally thought it would be interesting to pretend that they wrote a song about the celebrated American composer of a similar sounding name, hence his joking in the interview about Radiohead composing a song with something like 48 notes to an octave. It was easy and amusing to imagine Radiohead's attempt to colonize that relatively arcane bit of our musical lifeworld. This is what they used to call, in some bohemian and advertising circles, 'riffing' or fooling around.

"Matt has not heard the Radiohead song about Harry Patch, but if he did, he is sure he wouldn't like it. No doubt Radiohead and their fans can ignore his opinion of this matter and continue with their triumphant artistic interventions. Matt would have much preferred to insult Beck but he is too afraid of Scientologists."

The celebrated American composer of a similar sounding name is Harry Partch - click on that Wikipedia link and pretty much the first thing you'll read is "Not to be confused with Harry Patch". So it's now clear that Matthew Refriedbeans obviously doesn't like Radiohead, but made a fairly understandable mistake (especially as he's American, so the importance of the last British Tommy wouldn't be so pertinent) and confused Patch for Partch. And, to be fair, it would be a tad pretentious to out of the blue record a tribute to an experimental composer. But Matthew Kentuckyfriedchicken doesn't want us to think of him as a generally well-meaning bloke who, like all of us, is susceptible to mistakes. No - he wants us to think of him as a twat. He wants us to think of him as the kind of man who "naturally" finds it INTERESTING to pretend that other bands have written songs which they in fact haven't written. If someone told him that JLS had written a song about the pre-Industrial Revolution method of fabric production, he'd probably jump with glee and spend 4 days solid locked in his room acting out every possible consequence of such an action, Synecdoche New York-style.


Then, for no discernible reason whatsoever, he ends his head-scratching statement with a dig at Beck. Matthew Fridayschildisfullofgrace and Beck may have some deep-rooted blood feud which I'm not aware of, but to the casual observer it appears that the Fiery Furnaces man has decided to use the 'Random Target Generator' which once featured in an episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks, whereby a button is pressed and a name of a celebrity is generated completely at random to be the subject of mockery and scorn.

As I don't actually like the Beck track and cannae be arsed to wait ages for my slow internet to upload the song on to Mediafire, BUT I feel like it's appropriate to try and rub Matthew Friedberger's face in it as much as possible, if you wish you can download 'Harry Partch' from this blog.

I'm now off to ridicule (*generating*) Paolo Nutini for recording a song about (*generating*) Ipswich Town midfielder Grant Leadbitter.

Bye.

I Just Called To Say I Loath You

I've recently been inundated with literally hundreds of e-mails from The Hardcore and The Gentle fans imploring me to explain my reasoning behind each nefarious character included in the newly added 'The Unloved' list on the right-hand side of this blog. As befits the ingenuity and creative mindedness of the average THaTG reader, all of the e-mails have been wittily disguised as offers to watch Asian school girls get anally assaulted by horses live on webcam, or Nigerian business men imploring me to transfer money in to their bank accounts with the promise that my investment will quadruple within the space of two seconds. But I know who these "Nigerian business men" are. They're frauds. I know full well that they're really you lot, my enraptured fanbase, and that the request to transfer money in to bank accounts is really a thinly veiled plea for me to transfer some of my wise, wise words in to your yearning brains. Well, as has been recently pointed out in various media outlets, my generosity and good-will is comparable to that of Jesus Christ himself, and I like to think that I treat my disciples well. So, here you go guys: this is YOUR post.

1. Michael Bay

There's not a huge amount more that I can add in criticism of The Worst Film Director Ever To Have Lived (known to his mum as Michael Bay) that hasn't already been perfectly poeticized in Team America's lol-tastic "Pearl Harbour" song. Michael Bay is just a dick who thinks that the only way one of his piss-poor screenplays can be made in to a film is by hurling several hundred million dollars at it in the form of grossly over-indulgent CGI and special effects, while also having an uncanny knack of choosing exactly the worst actors possible for the roles. Pretty much all of his films can fall pretty comfortably under the label 'over-expensive pieces of shit': Armageddon, Pearl Harbour, The Island, Transformers (and probably Transformers 2, the original didn't have me scrambling for tickets to the follow-up). And Bad Boys and Bad Boys 2 aren't exactly gonna be jostling for place at the top of any 'Greatest Films Ever Made' lists. Oh, and Megan Fox doesn't like him, and at risk of infuriating my very anti-Fox girlfriend: that makes him a Grade A douchebag. FUCK YOU MICHAEL BAY.

2. Bill O'Reilly

A selection of the entries under "Bill O'Reilly" on Urban Dictionary should cover this section nicely:

"Completely ignorant white male who thinks he knows everything. Almost comical diction when is he cutting liberal commentators off and sweet-talking the conservatives."

"Another word for crap, turd, shit etc...

I stepped in some Bill O'Reilly."

"Pompous news anchor with a staggering ego. Claims to be neutral, unbiased, and "looking out" for the everyday American, but commits more logical fallacies per broadcast than any other. Also spends more time plugging merchandise, books, and website memberships on air than any other. Has been caught in multiple lies, fabrications, and exaggerations, and is prone to patronizing his guests as well as all of his viewers (whether or not they realize it). A joke of a journalist rivaled only by Geraldo Rivera, the "debate" content of his show is really a series of cat fights resulting in mic-cutting and arrogance."

"2. To cram a large dildo up your ass while having phone sex.

"Honey can you repeat that? I wanna do a "bill o'reilly" for the full effect.""

3. David Pleat

Painfully dreadful football commentator

4. Bob Geldof

Putting a pretty napkin over a piece of shit doesn't stop it from being a piece of shit. All the charity campaigning in the world can't remove the fact that Bob Geldof is an unpleasant, self-righteous cocktug, who is crap at making music and naming children. To be fair though, he was responsible for probably the greatest gig the world has ever witnessed. No, not Live Aid. His 2006 show in Italy, where only 45 people turned up to see him play at a venue with a 12,000 person capacity, prompting Bob to throw a hissy fit and call off the concert. The fans were probably left gutted not to have the chance to see such Boomtown Rats minor hits as I Don't Like Mondays and, um.... err.....

5. Kanye West

Far, far too up himself, but even his extravagant claims of being the most intelligent rapper in the world and the voice of a generation hadn't fully turned me against him. No, this was reserved for until I actually saw him live in concert at Sheffield Arena, in which he descended in to a long rambling semi-rapped monologue of how ill-treated celebrities were by the press, as I helplessly stood by and watched my £35 spent on a ticket slosh away in to inane egotistical twaddle. Also, I have never to this day actually known who on earth Taylor Swift is, apart from a shocked looking figure in a silver dress forlornly clutching a statue of a spaceman while being told she's not as good as Beyonce, but I'm definitely on her side in the great MTV Awards fiasco. Up yours Kanye, you motherfucking gay fish.

6. Terry Taylor

See Random Album Review #4

Songs I'm Currently Loving:

I have a suspicion that Mediafire's (praise be upon it) recent makeover now means that you can download all these stingin' toons in one fell swoop by clicking on this link and then doing some stuff, I'm not entirely sure how to do it because I don't download my own songs. Anyway, from now on I'll endeavour to include the whole folder link as well as the individual links, as I appreciate that downloading songs individually wastes precious time that could be spent navigating the hell away from this blog to the safety of some incestuous raccoon porn.

• Dorian Concept - Trilingual Dance Sexperience - relatively new track from DorCon which leaves the mouth watering for a follow up to the majorly mega When Planets Explode.
• Hard House Banton - Zulu Form - I genuinely hate the term "UK Funky". It just seems like a pointless tag that's been made-up for a style of music that I swear has been around in various forms for ages and has never needed to be called something stupid like "UK Funky" before. Could it not at least be UK Funkstep or UK Funky Munky Dance or something? All it is at the moment is the name of a place followed by an adjective, much like "Tranmere Juicy", which you might not have heard of because I've just invented it. So you can be safe in the knowledge that if you don't see hipsters starting to go to Tranmere Juicy nights in the near future, then there isn't an ounce of justice in the world.
• Silkie & Harry Craze - Favela - speaking of which, here's a nice 'n' Funky track from two UK producers, just for all you Tranmere Juicy-heads out there.
• Rhythm On The Loose - Break of Dawn - this is some vintage house from the early 90's, and it's MINT mate, fookin' MINT. If you've ever been surprised to see a suitcase by the door then this song is basically telling your life story; you should probably consider legal action.
• Acid Girls - Lightworks (Harvard Bass Remix) - I honestly have no idea why, but this song always makes me think that if it were a person then it'd be the man in the white suit with the ridiculous strut from the Dreadlock Holiday video. I have literally no clue as to why my brain decides to bestow this personification upon me. It's a banger of an electro tune though, it's earned it's strut.
• 1000 Names - Pum - these ace glitch-hoppers may want us to believe that they have 1000 names, but the best song title they can come up with is "Pum"?? I don't know about you, but I don't buy their audacious claims, not one bit.
• Shitao - We - this is a beautiful abstract hip-hop track from the rather un-beautifully named French producer Shitao. For damage limitation sake I'm still trying to decide whether it's better to pronounce his name more like "Shit how?", or "Shit 'ouse". This is probably (well, hopefully) the only occasion in life when you'll find yourself lapping up We from a Shit 'ouse, so enjoy it.
• Maluca - El Tigeraso - this track is pretty damn ludicrous, but is all the better for it. Definitely enjoyable, but not the sort of track that you'd wanna be walked in on whilst wildly flailing your hands in the air to it sitting at your computer in your dressing gown, trust me. No, really: TRUST ME.

In addition to this fine array of tracks to greedily cram down your ear'oles, it'd be well worth your while to check out this latest mix by fast-rising DJ/producer Dan Boadan, as it's bloody good: October 09 Mix

Random album review #5

The Japanese Popstars - We Just Are

I'll level with you - We Just Are is a great album, but I'm boring myself trying to write about it. For an electro house long player, it's good - REALLY good. All the songs are nothing less than banging, and it's full of thumping bass, euphoric build ups and slamming drops. But still it bores me a bit. I think the problem is that it's very four-on-the-floor head nodding music, which when listened to in a bedroom environment has a fairly short shelf life in just one listening session. I'm sure that if I was listening to it via one of The Japanese Popstars' live shows (which are highly rated and widely acclaimed - they're touring at the moment so I hope to catch them soon) then I would be doing nothing but gushing praise for We Just Are, but as it is (I'm currently sitting in my room hunched over my computer, it's a fairly grey day outside) the euphoric build ups are soaring by rather under-appreciated. All of the tunes on the album are obviously designed to have you reaching for the lasers rather than for a cup of tea, and while I can easily appreciate that each of the tracks are finely crafted pieces of dance music they just don't fully inspire when simply listened to on the CD, and really need to be experienced in a club environment. So my recommendation would be: aim to see The Japanese Popstars live, then the album will probably take on a whole new feel afterwards. A similar thing happened to me with Digitalism a few years ago; tracks like Pogo and Jupiter Room had intoxicated my brain with German electro goodness, but I'd been fairly cool on the rest of their album Idealism until I saw them live at Reading 07, a highly spiritual experience that made me enjoy the record a lot more from then on as listening to each track evoked the buzz of the live performance. That's how I see We Just Are: bit boring in mp3 form, probably very WOW live. Check out their tour dates, if they're playing near you then I'd definitely recommend trying to catch them live: http://www.myspace.com/thejapanesepopstars

Seeing as I've dealt with We Just Are fairly quickly, I'll tag on a proposal of what you should be pumping out your stereo's speakers instead. Bassline has for a long time been an object of scorn in my eyes, for two key reasons: 1) I don't carry a flick-knife, and 2) I don't own a modified Citroen Saxo. If you catch my drift. Despite spending a considerable amount of time in the bassline capital of the world, Sheffield, I've never felt the urge to attend any Niche nights, generally because my finest stab-proof vest coincidentally always seems to be in the wash when they're on. Shame. Instead I've tended to plump for the watered-down version of bassline, wonky fidget house, as pioneered by the likes of Jack Beats, Martelo, and various other inhabitants of Hervé's Cheap Thrills imprint and beyond. They make music that's acceptable for the middle-class young adults of Great Britain to bounce around the room like chimps to, safe in the knowledge that they can flail along to the wobbling basslines as much as they like without fearing to meet the eye of anyone else in the room.

I still wouldn't be first in line at a bassline or speed garage night, but my opinion of the music itself has rocketed in the space of the past day. This is because for once, I actually listened to some bassline. Proper bassline, courtesy of Rinse 05, mixed by Paleface. All of the Rinse series is great, and as this particular mix was actually released in the middle of 2008 I probably shudda trusted the Rinsers and acquired this record sooner, but it was just that tag stopping me: bassline. I already had Ministry of Sound's The Sound of Bassline compilation, but had never been fully captivated by some of the rather cheesy pop stuff on there (it's got the likes of What's It Gonna Be and Heartbroken on it). I was drawn to the Rinse 05 mix, however, because I'd been noticing Paleface cropping up quite a bit in association with the "UK Funky" scene (he's one of the cousinz in Crazy Cousinz - see Songs I'm Currently Loving), and felt a bit of bassline might shake me from my We Just Are-induced stupor (that's a wee bit mean, it really is a good album). Upon listening to the Rinse mix, I noticed something:

IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD!!!

Paleface rinses (ahem) no less than 40 tracks in the space of just under 80 minutes, showcasing some wonderful skittering beats and bouncing bass, as well as elements of grime and R&B (the suitably underground-sounding stuff, no Heartbroken here), which leave you wanting to do nothing more than dance around wearing a monkey suit on a trampoline for 72 hours straight, fuelled by gallons of Red Bull (that's the strongest stimulate they do at bassline nights, right?). Paleface's mix also incorporates much of the tribal afrobeat reminiscent of UK Funky that had lured me in in the first place, and with each track tending to get no more than a minute and a half blast before the next tune begins it's wobbling bass onslaught, this mix really keeps you bopping your head, shoulders, knees and toes. I've reached the conclusion that bassline is probably the most fun music genre out there - although I don't think I'll be rushing down to Sheffield's (newly reopened) Niche club to share my findings with the other clientele any time soon.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Having given We Just Are fairly short shrift and established that bassline is the greatest thing in the world, all that's left to do now is sit back and let the otherworldly powers of the iTunes shuffle function select the next random album to be reviewed. Fingers crossed, eh?

.........

Oh Christ on a bike. I've listened to this album pretty much not at all, this is gonna be tough.

JEGA - VARIANCE

We're talking ambient IDM electroscapes here people, a bit Boards of Canada/Boxcutter-esque. I think. Like I said, I haven't really listened to it, so I'm basing these descriptions on the brief snippets of the tracks that I'm scrabbling through now. I'm not really sure why I have this album to be honest, I've really not paid it much attention at all, ever. Oh well, I'm sure it's good. It sounds like it could be good.

Here's a sampler:

Jega - Soulflute

(It took ages on this shitty internet connection to upload the 'songs I'm currently loving' to mediafire and I can't be arsed to now upload the actual soulflute mp3, and you're just gonna have to learn to live with that)

Songs I'm Currently Loving:

• Les Gillettes - Pompeii - Erol-approved slice of infectious electro house, sure to be heard on many a dancefloor in the coming months
• Paleface & Kyla - Do You Mind (Crazy Cousinz Remix) - I'm rather reluctant to use the term 'UK Funky' for this upcoming musical style as it's biologically impossible for a white person to use the word 'funky' in any situation and emerge with any shred of coolness, but this is a tuuuuune *makes 'T' sign with hands*
• Army of the Pharaohs - Dump The Clip - Old-Skool East Coast hip-hop gem
• Fuckpony - Orgasm On The Dancefloor Saturday - I find it beyond comprehension that anyone could look at the combination of words in this artist/track's name and not think "YES. THIS IS WHAT I NEED".
• Bibio - Sugarette (Wax Stag Remix) - The Hardcore and The Gentle favourite Bibio released a follow up to the excellent Ambivalence Avenue the other week, including a few new songs and remixes of tracks from AA. Guess what? Yeh, that's right. This track's one of 'em.
• Pom Pom - Untitled 06 - It seems to be the case in the electronic music world these days that the zanier the name, the more brilliant it is. All of the tracks on Pom Pom's album are untitled, and they're all wicked.
• Jogger - Nephicide - Jogger's debut album This Great Pressure was released last week, and as Alan Hansen might say, it's pretty tasty. This track is completely bonkers, and sounds like what I'd imagine Deftones, Squarepusher and Fionn Regan having an orgy would sound like, with Daedelus videotaping. Which of course is a good thing. And I checked - 'nephicide' doesn't mean murdering your nephew. You know you were thinking it too.

Now it's time to hand out The Hardcore and The Gentle's 'Props of the Week' awards, with props this time going to Monsieur Jack Opus for the heads up on Sbtrkt, and Turnado for the low-down on Chainsaw Calligraphy during Gaslamp Killer's set at Thrasher the other weekend.

• TJR - Just Gets Better (Sbtrkt Remix)
• 16Bit - Chainsaw Calligraphy - This song throws you over it's knee and proceeds to spank the living daylights out of you, ignoring your squeals and squirming and telling you to "take it like a bitch". Or, at least, that's how it seems to me. And I bloody love it.